Housewarming
by k8ec
Summary: An unexpected mail delivery has John puzzled.


HOUSEWARMING

_Set: Post TSiP _

_Spoilers: None_

_Disclaimer: Sherlock & John belong to ACD, & the BBC. I just get to play with the characters minds!_

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**The Personal Blog of Dr. John H. Watson**

4th March:

**Belated Housewarming Present**

Was rather perplexed today when I received a large, reinforced envelope in the mail marked _"Do Not Bend"._

I haven't ordered anything online or through the mail – still a bit strapped for a quid - and apart from Harry, Mike and one or two of the rugger boys, there is no-one in the country who has my new address (other than all those 'regretful' potential employers, that is, and they could get by with standard business envelopes for their missives)!

I must admit to being intrigued!

Sherlock would have deduced the contents in two seconds flat, but I rather enjoyed trying to apply his techniques for myself. After all, considering the types of cases Sherlock's been involved with in the short time _I've_ known him, it could contain anything from explosives, to severed fingers, to Anthrax!

Firstly, the plain envelope was addressed by hand in a bold, blocky yet flowing style. Probably a male, then. Blue ball point - nothing particularly unusual about that.

_(__Right-handed, definitely male - strong cursive script. Presses harder on down-strokes of capitals. Holds pen lower down the body than normal – slight indications of smudging. Most likely 40 to 50 y.o. using Parker Duofold, medium point. Pen is 12 to 15 y.o – ink is not flowing evenly around the ball – drier on the right of the letters. Otherwise well maintained, used often. Deep sentimental value – probably present for a 'significant' event). _

Secondly, the note on the outside implies that the contents could be damaged if mistreated, but it doesn't actually weigh very much – so the contents are probably paper. No stamp.

_(__Wrong! Franking machine – faint indication of ' ..w .c..and ..rd' – Sender tried to hide details by interspersing another sheet __between the envelope and the machine to hide the origins. Ink has seeped through / You also neglected to mention the reinforcing material within the envelope. Basic observation skills, John! / And _of course_ the contents are paper! Honestly! _Do_ use the few skills you have to greater purpose!)_

Third and subsequently; there is no odour attached to the envelope. The contents don't appear to rattle or make any significant noise within it; they seem to be of uniform thickness; and the envelope and contents are opaque when held to the brightest light available in the flat.

_(Good, John! Finally something approaching analysis!)_

Not having access to a portable x-ray machine, or any other high-tech tool for further analysis, I now had to make a decision as to whether I should open the envelope or wait for Sherlock's input.

I decided to open it.

The contents were sandwiched between two pieces of light white card, with a short note in nondescript block letters attached.

"**BELATED HOUSEWARMING / FLATSHARING PRESENT**

**DR. WATSON.**

**GOOD BLACKMAIL MATERIAL**

**USE WISELY!"**

_(Different hand to the person addressing the envelope__, possibly angry female)._

On seeing the word 'Blackmail' I must admit to a feeling of intense trepidation, my mind scrambling to review my actions over the past weeks since meeting Sherlock. However, as there was no point in delaying the inevitable, I slowly removed the note and the card to reveal a set of 8" x 10" photographs, high quality prints, all taken on the final night of the _"Study in Pink"_ case, and each of them showing various angles and attitudes of Sherlock – covered in the orange 'shock' blanket.

_(Obviously taken by Sgt. J__**xxxx**__ with the evidence camera – gross misuse of Police property! L__**xxxxxxx**__ should know better.)_

In the first one he is sitting in the back of the ambulance looking a bit vacant – well, actually it's that sort of: _'I'm very deep inside my head at the moment. Don't interrupt to me with your trivialities!'_ look he gets when he's trying to put things together at the speed of light. The next ones (in order) have him staring at the paramedic and D.I. L**xxxxxxx** as though they are escapees from a Mental Hospital (while trying to shake off the blanket); looking down fingering the orange blanket in disdain; smug whilst filling Lestrade in with some 'obvious' information; stock still, with a blank look possibly of realization on his face (- on anyone else it would be akin to _'the penny dropping',_ but since when has it ever taken Sherlock very long to figure something out)?

The last two show Sherlock still sitting in the back of the ambulance, staring out at the road looking surprised; and standing clutching the shock blanket tightly around his shoulders, gesticulating animatedly at L**xxxxxxx**. This last one is closely focused on their faces, and in some way embodies the personalities of both men: Lestrade focused, amused, yet simultaneously mildly annoyed; Sherlock forcing his opinions on the D.I. and bouncing around like a hyperactive sheepdog pup!

It will look very good in a frame, I know just the place for it, too! And I am willing to bet that Mrs Hudson would appreciate copies of one or two of them as well – possible the cute one of him staring at the blanket!

So. Whomever you are who sent these, be sure they will be put to good use. If anyone else wants to see them, I've included the 'cute' one below!

**1****6 comments**

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_**'Cute'?**_?

"Hyperactive puppy?"

John have you been indulging in illicit narcotics?

**Sherlock Holmes** 4 March 21:46

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John.

What have you done to your blog. I can't get past the login now!

… John?

**Sherlock Holmes** 4 March 21:47

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I warned you about editing my blogs, Sherlock. By the time you've worked out my new password, the pictures will have been downloaded several times!

**John Watson** 4 March 21:49

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John, can I _please_ have a hard copy of the one with him looking surprised? Please?

**Molly Hooper** 4 March 21:54

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Of course, Molly. How **big** a print would you like?

**John Watson** 4 March 21:56

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I'm warning you, John!

**Sherlock Holmes** 4 March 22:03

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So that's what your flatmate looks like? Rather an arrogant looking S.O.B isn't he?

**Harry**** Watson** 4 March 22:09

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he's confident in his own skin and justified in being arrogant. the rest of you are so far beneath him!

**t****heimprobableone** 4 March 22:11

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I've warned you about language, Harry!

**John Watson** 4 March 22:11

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**: **P

**Harry**** Watson** 4 March 22:14

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Honestly! Could you _be_ more infantile?

**John Watson** 4 March 22:15

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DULL!

You really need to come up with better passwords!

**Sherlock Holmes** 4 March 22:23

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It doesn't matter if you delete these, Sherlock. I have electronic copies downloaded and available for anyone who wants one. And if you don't stop altering or commenting within my blog entries I will email copies to everyone in my address book!

**John Watson** 4 March 22:25

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You wouldn't!

**Sherlock Holmes** 4 March 22:26

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**: **P

**John ****Watson** 4 March 22:28

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Now who's infantile, baby brother? LOL

**Harry ****Watson** 4 March 22:33

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End file.
